Modern Love Essays

is the fourth book by Jones, who traces his start as a writer to his days as an undergrad at UVA.

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It’s just that those in the first group feel confident about their love going in, and those in the second group don’t.

So they need to weigh pros and cons and talk about it a lot and seek the guidance of others." Anything that’s fresh becomes apparent quickly.

But many “Modern Love” contributors—whether examining the twists and turns of a romantic relationship or revealing a complicated and heart-wrenching tale involving open adoption, domestic abuse or even the death of a child, spouse or parent—seem to be seeking, above all, catharsis through their words.

“Often what gets published is the most important story in that person’s life,” says Jones, 51.

It has even been used as a plot point in Netflix’s .

“In my mind I have not been mastering love all these years so much as marinating in it,” he writes.In his new book, Jones offers his predictions and conclusions, often humorously, on everything from Anthony Weiner and sexting to the slippery slope that may materialize when a married person decides to track down an old crush on Facebook.He raises questions about why online-only relationships (which he dubs “Soul Mate in a Box”) tend to fail when the pair finally gets together in person—as well as the idea of soul mates altogether.He admits feeling a bit lost when he arrived in 1981.“I had no idea what I wanted to do when I went to college, and floundered for probably two years,” he says.And this is where Jones’ love story—both personal and professional—begins. A wedding, a move to New York and two babies later, Hanauer edited the book , who had wanted to start a personal-essay column about relationships and was searching for just the right editor.To launch the column, Jones solicited five essays, not knowing if he’d have to keep soliciting or whether the column could sustain itself with submissions. “It started as a trickle,” he says, “and grew into a torrent.” As the sole reader of incoming entries, Jones tackles them in several daylong marathons, sometimes reading as many as 80 or 100 in one day in his office overlooking a casket factory in Florence, Mass. "We talk about ‘falling’ in love, as if all the process involves is finding the right person, stepping off the ledge, and letting gravity do its thing.magazine editor and correspondent Champ Clark, who lectured in newswriting.But it was a course taught by the late novelist Ellen Douglas, a National Book Award nominee whose work delved into race relations and the role of women in the Deep South, that proved to be a turning point.After all, you don’t get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging.The same goes for the American husband.”) The column was such a huge hit, it led to a book that has been published in at least 10 countries.